To put it mildly, the pain of the heartbreak and the fear of the unknown makes break ups traumatic. Death of any kind is traumatic, painful and scary. And unfortunately when a couple splits up they are experiencing the death of their relationship. Thankfully, unlike a physical death, relationships can and often do come back to life, and many times they are better and stronger than ever.
However, there are specific things you need to do in order to give yourself the best chance of getting him back after a break up and there are things you can do wrong that even the deepest love can’t withstand.
What Exactly Does No Contact Mean?
No contact means do not have any contact with your ex for any reason. No contact until you can completely control the situation. This means no email, no phone, no text, no driving by, no “accidentally” running in to them.
Not doing anything to stop your feelings of being out of control and the horrible pain may seem extremely foreign to you; but believe it or not, doing nothing is precisely what you should do. I know that just standing by goes against everything you want to do, but trust me just give the break up situation time to calm down.
I know you think your situation is different and I am sure the particulars of your break up are unique; but if you hear nothing else, please know that during times of high emotion and stress, we all say and do things that we don’t mean. If you push ahead and make contact during this period of time, you can cause so much turmoil that you will hurt your chances of getting back together ever.
Again, giving it time is the BEST thing you can possibly do, even if the love of your life is seeing someone else – you have to stop contact and re-group.
Next You Have To Develop A Plan
You must realize that every step you take when you follow this proven advice is just one step closer to reuniting with your love. Okay? I know you must think I am nuts, but this is how it has worked in countless thousands of real break up situations. To be successful, your plan must be complete and you must make use of every known advantage you can.
The reason you want to employ every kind of proven strategy is that it makes your total overall plan much more effective. For example, when you want to lose weight, you combine all the known information that results in weight loss. You exercise and reduce your caloric intake for maximum to drop the pounds safely but effectively. A breakup is no different, you will want to combine any and all effective strategies that will give you the best chance of getting back together.
A good plan consists of several techniques all wrapped in to one effective strategy, a proven all encompassing system that really works to get your ex back in your arms. Here are the steps:
(1) No Contact!!! As discussed above.
(2) Stay Positive!! When daydreaming or reflecting be sure to focus on the good stuff. I know you must think, that is too painful for me to do right now. You could look at it like that, or you could look at it from the viewpoint of whatever you focus your attention on grows. If you want the pain to grow, then focus on the ugly traumatic breakup, or the thought that your beautiful memories are just memories, and getting back together is just not in the cards now.
OR, a better way would be to think of the wonderful feelings you had when the relationship was perfect. Stay in that place of good feeling. You are doing it wrong if while trying to think positive, you end of feeling bad. If you are crying or sad, then you’ve been having the WRONG types of thoughts. If you simply can’t think of your love without being overwhelmed with bad feelings, than you must not think of your love for while.
However, you must focus on love, joy, happiness any way you can. It might be a song that always makes you happy. Do not think of a song that you shared with your love unless of course it makes you happy.
(3) Control Your Thoughts!! Start mastering your thoughts and you absolutely can control your thoughts. It just takes practice!! Think about it, when you are sad or depressed, how do you breathe, how do you stand, how do you sit, what does your face look like? Try to be happy and breathe shallow, slump your shoulders and frown. It is IMPOSSIBLE! Breath, sit and act like you do when you are happy and alive.
(4). Beach Ball Exercise!! When you can get yourself in a positive place for even a few minutes you will want to give this little exercise a try. I want you to imagine blowing those positive emotions you’ve created with your positive thinking into a big colorful beach ball. Once you have filled the beach ball with loving thoughts; in your mind, picture your love about 10 ft from you and toss him the ball.
Then, imagine him catching the beach ball with its shower of golden light, joy and love. Why would you do this? Let me ask you this? Would you rather spend more time with someone who is upset, yelling and fighting with you or someone who is giving you love? Which one is more attractive to you? Remember you do this only in your mind, as often as you want.
(5) Taking Action!! After doing this, you will be in a positive space to create a plan and from this state of mind you can really take action that will get him back. Go here and check out these FREE videos that will give you step-by-step proven information on what to do and what to say when your ex does make contact with you.
Does no contact work to get your ex back? Try if for yourself, and when you see the wonderful results, I think you will be happy you did.